Keen As Chirpse

Okay, flip your feet out of whatever shoes you've got on and put them into this pair:

You're at a bar with the human you're currently crushin' on, the one whose texts you spend 15 minutes drafting, deleting, re-writing and choosing the exact right emoji to convey your emotions (my personal favourite is the cat with love hearts for eyes). 

It's only the third date and you're not sure if your story about a cat you saw on the internet went down too well, and you've just spilt your vodka lime and soda all over your chin. 

Eerk.

 Then, out of nowhere, an ethereal angel sweeps in. They're the same gender as you, look like they've been styled by Gok Wan (yeah I know fashion), and they air kiss your future spouse (spring wedding would be nice...). And you automatically hate them. Doesn't matter if they're an ex, a sister or a convicted criminal, you hate them. Because they're cooler than you. Their bag is from Prada.

"Oh Prada huh. Yeah I prefer Chanel. Oh your shoes are Chanel..."

silence

"Remember when Karl Lagerfield was fat....?"

Eerk.

That exact same thing is happening to me right now. Well, apart from the bit about going on a date.

I met a long time friend of Joni's last week, and it turns out she's a writer! ME TOOO!

So this weekend, instead of writing an academic article on how Vice magazine represents drug use (I get to use the words smack and crack repeatedly), I've been reading the website she writes for, Sick Chirpse. Without wanting to sound tooooo desperate for a new friend (even though I am), her writing is very very good. I giggled and chuckled a lot reading her pieces, a line that made me LOL quite hard was in an article about fans behaving badly: "A naughty fan called John Green, presumably angered by his generic name..."

HAH.

But after every giggle I say to myself "pffffft, not even that good, I could do that, easy, easy peasy Japanesey (are you allowed to say that anymore?)". And I think that because she's cooler than me. She's wearing the literary equivalent to Chanel shoes.

But that's just the jealously bubble rising up, humans can be terrible sometimes!

For a treat, have a read. Her "choice of topic fluctuates between sex and crime, with the occasional bit of racism thrown in", and who doesn't like at least one of those things! 

CLICK

OH HAI KARL

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